The Lord sure wants us to learn full and total dependence on Him. My husband has yet to find a teaching position after a year and a half. We are beginning to get bitter and completely discouraged. We pray and we pray and most days, it feels as if the Lord has forgotten us. We know without doubt that that is not truth for a second, but we fall into that lie so often. It is so hard to hear of our friends and acquaintances praying for jobs, provision, whatever they need, and the Lord answering quickly. We immediately default to the thinking that maybe He loves them more or we are not "good" enough, whatever. As another job possibility fell through this week, Jesus has been reminding me gently that we are doing fine financially. We are in want for nothing. He has provided exactly what we need every minute of our marriage.
That thought really hadn't occurred to me until this week. I continually find myself frustrated that everyone else has had their prayers for jobs answered and we have not. But what have we needed that was not provided? What have we gone without? What have we sacrificed in the last year and a half?
The Lord is so sweet to stretch our paycheck. He's so sweet to have me in a secure job that pays well. He's so sweet to give Dean sub position after sub position and a community of schools that love and request him on a daily basis. Why should I be disappointed? Why should I feel he hasn't provided, just because it doesn't look like we want it to? As another week goes by, I have felt more comfort from the Lord than I have in quite some time. I know that He loves us and is providing for us completely. It probably will never look the way we want it to look, and that's ok. He is the Great Provider. I am confident in that.
I waited patiently for the Lord.
He inclined in heard my cry.
He lifted me up out of the pit, out of the myrie clay.
He set my feet upon a rock making my footesteps firm.
~Psalm 40:1-2
Saturday, June 18, 2011
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