Changing me...

This past week the Lord has really been reminding me to trust Him. He will provide, as He always does. I'm so unworthy of His provision and I continue to get swept up in that fact. I feel so inadequate and so unappreciative of His grace and I often don't accept it.

Something I read in The Confessions of St. Augustine (by the way, totally think every struggling Christian should read this beautiful book) tonight that I really needed to hear:
Oh, that I might rest on You.
Oh, that You may enter my heart and make it intoxicated, so that I might forget all woes and embrace You, my only good.
What are You to me? Take pity on me and teach me how to express it.
What am I to You that you demand my love and care enough to be angry and threaten me with grievous woes if I don't give it? It is no small woe if I do not love You.
Oh, have mercy on me and tell me, oh Lord, My God, what You are to me. Say to my soul, "I am your Salvation." Say it loudly enough that I may hear.
Behold, Lord, my heart lies exposed before You. Open the ears of that heart and say unto my soul, "I am your Salvation."
After You have spoken, allow me to quickly grasp You.
Hide not Your face from me.
Let me die, so that I will not only die.
Only let me see Your face.
(emphasis added)

I have been so incredibly overwhelmed lately. I desperately want to graduate in December. In order to accomplish that, I needed to take 18 hours this summer. Upon beginning this, I just don't know if I can do it. I am so overloaded with homework in one class that I have not had one minute to devote to an online class I'm taking. If I don't drop the online course and pray that there will be another one offered before December, I don't know that I could even pass it now. If I drop the class now, that means I will have to take two online courses along with student teaching in the fall. That's going to be Hell on earth. I really felt like graduating early was what I was supposed to do and felt confident that I could do it, but now I am scared I've made such a hasty decision.
I've also been overwhelmed socially. I've lost my two best friends. One has hurt me pretty badly and the relationship has been rocky for months. I honestly don't know if it's repairable. The other has kind of taken her side and hasn't spoken to me in about a month. I absolutely realize I am not perfect. I've made plenty of mistakes in both friendships, but I it's really lonely losing two people I cared deeply for.
I just have to trust the Lord. Daily I need the reminder that He is in control. I forget that and try to fix things myself, and it never works. He will provide. He will always provide.